What The Year Has Tought Me...

I know... I know…. I have not been blogging that much recently and will you stop bugging me about this please ??? Well, my blog has been missing its entries because over the last few weeks, I’ve lost the motivation to blog, especially when I have to write about my boring life here in Borneo.

The new year was all over and ahead of us lies a brand new year. Looking back, 2005 has been the most challenging and an emotional year for both of us. It was a year full of tears and sadness, a year filled with so much fears of uncertainties, a year when I was forced out from my comfort zone and had to move on to another level in life, a year where I had to be separated from my darling and so much more. 2005 has left me high and dry, and it has also left me to cope with a great deal of uncertainties in my life. It was like a year when I had to walk through a dark tunnel without an end. However, witch each year that passed by, I’d discover a little more about myself and the path I’ve gone through and the mistakes I’ve made, therefore, I am very keen on making up all the losses that I’ve gone through last year.

I did not plan to make any new year resolution this year. My mind is still too busy trying to recap the year that had just passed. Sometimes I really feel like I'm just living from paycheck to paycheck, thinking of the next latest gadgets to buy instead of saving up my hard earn money. You see, the problem with me is I get carried and caught up with what I perceived to be important too easily, and I often forget the priorities in my life, Luckily I always have my darling around to constantly remind me to stand firm on my feet and to control my spending habits to a certain level…. Thanks again darling.

Last year, I also witnessed one of my very close buddy battling with AIDS. Like I’ve already said in my previous blog, this friend of mine has an enormous strength and courage. That's one attributes I can never have in me. Knowing the dilemma and pain he is going through in life really made me wonder if I could have cope with life if I were to be in his shoes. All my problems seem so small compared to his. Dealing with real life’s unknowns has taught me to believe in myself and to see things from different dimension now.

Love life-wise, the year has been rather predictable for me. My relationship with my darling has been growing steadily and this marks our sixth year being together. It has not been easy for the both of us to get to this stage, and somehow, out of the twist and turns I thank god that he has made him part of my life, It’s like a part of my darling has grown in me. However, life isn't all about love… I also have few fabulous friends to count on….. Francis, Konrad, Casey, Mathew, Ananda, and many more… you guys are fantastic.

And lastly, 2005 will always be remembered as the worst and the most painful year I’ve gone through in my entire life. And I am glad its all gone now. Wait a minute… it’s not really gone yet, I am still faced with the same problems yet again this year. Sighhh, I am kind of feeling a little disappointed right now and I may cry (Just for the heck of it- ha ha) Anyway, as the brand new year lies ahead of us all, let’s not worry about what bills to pay, what secrets to keep and so forth – Lets remind ourselves on how challenging being a human actually is and hopefully all my coming years, however many I have left, will be better.