I am getting older...

Your Birthdate: January 14

You work well with others. That is, you're good at getting them to do work for you. It's true that you get by on your charm. But so what? You make people happy! You're dynamic, clever, and funny. And people like to have you around. But you're so restless, they better not expect you to stay around for long. Your strength: Your superstar charisma Your weakness: Commitment means nothing to you Your power color: Fuchsia Your power symbol: Diamond Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Really ?? hmmm.... I really don't think I am one of those person.

It's my birthday today. It was my darling's yesterday. I called him right after midnite and sang him a birthday song over the phone. ? It's so disappointing for the 2 of us for not being able to celebrate our birthday together this year.

I was rather sad today and I know I am not suppose to be, instead, i should be happy thinking of my birthday gifts, where to party all night long, go dining out with my darling and eat as much yummy things as possible or even some meet up with friends...... Unfortunately, that's not the case here. Already, i am missing my darling so much. Worse still, I am stuck here in Borneo all alone on my birthday!!! Aarrgghhh!!!

However unhappy i may be with my life now, i still manage to cheer up a little. I did manage to list down my birthday wish list which i am not supposed to tell or else it won't come true. I would also like to say a BIG thank you to my darling for everything he has done and is still doing for me, “I miss you so much, can’t wait to be with you again”. Thank you for being such a amazing person who is always trying to please me despite all the pressure you're under.

Anyway, in case anyone out there who is wondering how old I am, I’m 22 : )

Okay.. okay, I find it really stupid to hide one’s age! We all grow old right, pretending to be younger or older doesn’t change a thing, So I am saying very proudly “I’m 29 years old this year” : (

I Wish.....

Happy Birthday Darling !!

Hi Darling,

First of all..... Happy Birthday to you.

Hope your day is filled with nothing but happiness not just on this special day but every day. Thank you for the many memories we've shared during our entire journey that we've walk through together. Darling, I also want to thank you for coming into my life, and its like i've known you forever. You totally changed my life.

I love you with all my heart and that's a fact.

Happy Birthday!! Happy Birthday!!
Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday!! Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday!! Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday!! Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday!! Happy Birthday!!

My Journey....

Oh this journey, this path through life

Day after day, night after night

Can't sleep it away, can't put it behind

It's there in my mind, its part of the time

This journey's the path through the stages in life

It unravels the mysteries,

shows us the light

Presents to us choices from which we must decide

There's no time to think

Is there somewhere to hide?

So we use our own judgment and

pressed by time we flip a dime

Heads or Tails, we succeed or we fail

To later discover through what the journey unravels

If we only knew yesterday what we'll know tomorrow

Let's run through the journey and maybe we'll see

But this journey is wiser than you and me

So I learn from the journey and from all my mistakes

Take the wisdom and knowledge to every next day

Focus on the good things that have come my way

I have grown,

I will learn,

I will grow,

From every day, from every stage

Heads or Tails,

I will succeed,

I won't fail

Time Well Spent....

My darling and I went for a short trip in Singapore on Christmas day when I was back in KL for Christmas and New Year holiday recently. The trip was great and I sure did have the most enjoyable time of my life being able to spend Christmas with my darling. It was a wish comes true for me….. Thanks darling.

I must say that time sure flies and how I wished I could spend more time with my darling while I was back. We spent the whole week busy going out for movies, dinner, shopping, getting my car serviced, catching up with friends and many things more done so fast with so little time. Hmmm… I think spending precious time and doing things together has made my trip back all worthwhile.

For the rest of the week while I was back, I tried hard not to think about my job in Borneo and the thoughts of going back to Borneo makes me want to spend more time with my darling because it’s going to be another month or so before we could see each other again. I’ll definitely miss you even more, and the way we hugged each other to bed at night. I’ll missed looking at your cute little babyish face while you’re sleeping and every time I think of this, I’ll have a huge smile on my face. (I still watch the video of u sleeping with my handphone every night before I go to bed :)

What The Year Has Tought Me...

I know... I know…. I have not been blogging that much recently and will you stop bugging me about this please ??? Well, my blog has been missing its entries because over the last few weeks, I’ve lost the motivation to blog, especially when I have to write about my boring life here in Borneo.

The new year was all over and ahead of us lies a brand new year. Looking back, 2005 has been the most challenging and an emotional year for both of us. It was a year full of tears and sadness, a year filled with so much fears of uncertainties, a year when I was forced out from my comfort zone and had to move on to another level in life, a year where I had to be separated from my darling and so much more. 2005 has left me high and dry, and it has also left me to cope with a great deal of uncertainties in my life. It was like a year when I had to walk through a dark tunnel without an end. However, witch each year that passed by, I’d discover a little more about myself and the path I’ve gone through and the mistakes I’ve made, therefore, I am very keen on making up all the losses that I’ve gone through last year.

I did not plan to make any new year resolution this year. My mind is still too busy trying to recap the year that had just passed. Sometimes I really feel like I'm just living from paycheck to paycheck, thinking of the next latest gadgets to buy instead of saving up my hard earn money. You see, the problem with me is I get carried and caught up with what I perceived to be important too easily, and I often forget the priorities in my life, Luckily I always have my darling around to constantly remind me to stand firm on my feet and to control my spending habits to a certain level…. Thanks again darling.

Last year, I also witnessed one of my very close buddy battling with AIDS. Like I’ve already said in my previous blog, this friend of mine has an enormous strength and courage. That's one attributes I can never have in me. Knowing the dilemma and pain he is going through in life really made me wonder if I could have cope with life if I were to be in his shoes. All my problems seem so small compared to his. Dealing with real life’s unknowns has taught me to believe in myself and to see things from different dimension now.

Love life-wise, the year has been rather predictable for me. My relationship with my darling has been growing steadily and this marks our sixth year being together. It has not been easy for the both of us to get to this stage, and somehow, out of the twist and turns I thank god that he has made him part of my life, It’s like a part of my darling has grown in me. However, life isn't all about love… I also have few fabulous friends to count on….. Francis, Konrad, Casey, Mathew, Ananda, and many more… you guys are fantastic.

And lastly, 2005 will always be remembered as the worst and the most painful year I’ve gone through in my entire life. And I am glad its all gone now. Wait a minute… it’s not really gone yet, I am still faced with the same problems yet again this year. Sighhh, I am kind of feeling a little disappointed right now and I may cry (Just for the heck of it- ha ha) Anyway, as the brand new year lies ahead of us all, let’s not worry about what bills to pay, what secrets to keep and so forth – Lets remind ourselves on how challenging being a human actually is and hopefully all my coming years, however many I have left, will be better.