Will I survive??

Hmm… I’ve always knew this day will come… that’s why I never really like to stress or think about it so often. All these while, I’ve been so attached of having my darling around and I really can’t imagine my days without him, not even a single day. And now, it seems that I’ll have to spent the rest of my life here(God knows for how long )

Last nite, I received a call from my big Boss asking me to prepare for my “deportation” to the rainforest in Borneo. Not that I’ve not been there before, but I know pretty well what kind of life I’ll be expecting there.

To be frank, I never really wanted to leave, after being in the comfort zone in KL for such a long time. It’s a difficult choice for me, and I have no other option. On the other hand, I’ve got to live, work and earn a living too. I’ve got way too much of responsibilities and liabilities to pay – my house, car installments, credit card bills and the list goes on. I guess, I was left with no choice but to leave !!!

After that particular call from my boss, I started to freak out. My blood pressure started to rise and my entire body started to shake uncontrably. My “hypertension” is back. That is why I never like to remind myself about this relocation thing. I’ve never even like to discuss it with him as I am pretty sure it will caused him to be extremely unhappy - for I know he loved me too much and it’s gonna hurt him just to see me leave. He loves me so much that he neglected his own life sometimes.

I’ve know my darling for almost 5 years but it seems like I've been watching him grow and progress for a long time. Much has changed and I believe changes will continue to take place and I'll continue to stand by him no matter what. The truth is we never really stayed apart before. We both did almost everything together – from laughters and tears, going shopping, traveling, movies, dining out, cooking, etc. Everything a normal couple would do, you name it, we’ve done it all together. Now, you can see why we both are so upset about me leaving and be apart.

My concern now is whether I will survive the ordeal of being apart from my darling. I know we’ll both miss each other like hell.

My other bigger concern is whether or not I’ll survive being in a totally new place - place full with strangers, new work load, my new friend called “Mr Loneliness” – AARRGGHHH !!! Life really sucks!

Hopefully, I’ll be able to cope and fit in without too much trouble.